Today.. I dunno y I cant control my
fellings anymore... I cried in the
school.. Why? Well.. Something
really bad hurts me so much make me
cry..

When Im having my recess.. I told
Vennessa that I wanted to cry..
(she sat the nearest to me) So.. she
asked y but I didnt answer her. Im trying
to control myself but then at last when
we were walking back to class.. My tears
started to pour down. That time I was
walking with Vennessa only coz Pei Wen
went to the bookshop. That time I didnt cry
much.. Just the tears drop. Then Vennessa
asked me why again & told me not to cry
Until we reached infront of my class where
we have to line up, Juhaina was on her way
heading to me. She is not with me coz she
have to do her duty in coop today. They I
started crying loudly on Juhaina's shoulder
& everyone was like asking me why. I just
cant talk & was like keep on crying non stop.
Then when we entered the class, I begin with
my story..

I was sad & I cried because I am hurt alot with
my problem with Man Kei. She ignored me alot
for few months. Yesterday when I saw
Qian Hui & Man Kei together outside the
school after school, I wave to Qian Hui 1st,
then I look at Man Kei & try to be friendly
with her & wave at her too.. But what she did
was ignore me & act she didnt see me. When
I entered the car, I was already hurted & feel
so guilty.. I was thinking.. What have I done?
Did I hurt Man Kei? Yeah.. That time about the
orchestra thing.. That time I was angry bcoz
we stayback without doing anything. That
was wasting time! So I was asking Man Kei
where is everyone & they should practise the
orchestra thing now. That time my voice was
quite high but I was totally not scolding her!
But if im not wrong, she was angry with just
because of this thing. All these are
misunderstood! Y didnt they think about me
for staying back? As if my hse was just next to
the scool & can stay back everyday! Of course
they were okay to stay back! But not for me! I
stay so far away & wad they expect? Oohh..
yeah.. I come to school by a plane.. or.. the road
is mine.. so when I go out from house all the
cars will gone to let me have the road smoothly..

Everyone didnt think about my feelings about
this. Plus now Man Kei is angry with me.. As if I
didnt feel guilty.. Okay.. fine! Sorry on what I
hurt u Man Kei! What you want me to do huh?
Die for you? I was trying my best to keep
everything fine but everything I done was
hopeless. All I asked is just have a good
friendship with you.

I am totally weak & cant continue to do anything
I can. Coz there's nothing I can do but is just
to wait & the forgiveness of Man Kei. Today
I was crying like all the time. Every word I wrote
out is truely from my heart & I doesnt want to
be hurted like this anymore.

Evonne posted on 6:04 PM

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Tuesday, September 16, 2003